Sunday, October 18, 2009

Emergency Room

Wringing my hands, I sat frozen in a windowless room. Wringing my hands, they had me locked away from emergency room action: mind numb with images, emotions overloaded by the bombardment of recent events, visual recollections ricocheting around the corners of my mind. The force of thoughts slowed my body to a motionless state. Lips sealed tight against sound. Too filled with apprehension to pace, I sat glued to an arm chair of standard hospital issue. Waiting, waiting an eternity for the word trying to catch a thought, thoughts made slippery from the friction of motion.

“She’s in here” a peering face from partial open door announced to the hall. Crisply stated in my direction, “You can use the phone, bathroom is across the hall.” Mechanical rules delivered without thought. No comfort. No word. The face disappeared. The door shushed a reply.
Coiled like a viper, the phone sat ready to strike. Black, menacing, backed into a corner. Light reflections, fluorescent flickering, illuminated its round edges. The spots of light on the sleek surface drew my hand to the only object for communication. Numbers, trying to pull phone numbers to feed the uncoiled serpent cradled in my hand. Maniacal thoughts raced on, unstoppable. Thoughts set in motion creating a life of their own, perpetuating them by careening off each other: energy begetting energy.

Forcing past the whirling dervish vortex, I located a darkened section where names and phone numbers were scattered. Shaking uncontrollably, my dialing digit spasmodically jumped from number to number. Answering machine, an answering machine… A voice sobbing, I heard a voice sobbing relating the debilitating event to a machine. Totally incoherent babbling to be interpreted by whom... who did I dial? Brigitte... the goat woman... Brigitte, the pragmatic German picked up disconnecting the recording. Picking words from my gibberish, making sense enough to respond with words of courage and strength. Her familiar voice helped in pulling me back from the brink.
Amidst total chaos, another number floated to the surface. A gasping, choking voice passed over wires, electronic impulses invisible to sight, wires to wires to Eileen. I longed to be in her kitchen, a safe haven filled with seasonal scents. Idle chats enhanced by cups of Almond Sunset Tea... mundane moments of sharing. Wired to her sunny yellow kitchen, her calm soothing voice travelled to my blue fluorescent cell. A spot of sun radiating warmth; sobbing, I wait for the word.

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